The Joys of Pregnancy! 37 weeks...

Listening to...the sound of the fan going, because it is crazy HOT today!!!
This entry is not by any means to complain about the changes I'm going through; though it may seem that way. It's just a vent. I'm allowed, right? I never post anything on those baby website message boards, because I've read some threads where people can be pretty mean. I don't understand how us women can be so petty with one another, especially while hiding behind a computer. Does it make them feel better about themselves? What's the point? I feel that as women, we should empower each other, respect our differences, learn from and support one another. I stay far far away from the useless drama. I have far more important things to do, things to worry about. It seems like some of these girls are only on the boards to ridicule others. I say girls because that's exactly what they are. Ok, rant over. HAHA hormonal much?

I know very well how lucky I am that I was able to conceive when we wanted to, not everyone has that opportunity. I am sure those people would do anything to be in my shoes. Please believe me when I say that I am happy, very happy that we are growing our family and I am going to be a mom! What a blessing! However, it does not mean that it doesn't come with its challenges, as I'm sure many other first time moms can relate.

I've realized that from here on out I will have my good days, when I feel just fine enough to cook a couple of meals to freeze for after baby is born & to do other household chores, then I have my days when I feel like my body has been hit by a moving train- a perfect example of that was this morning. I do not recall doing anything remotely strenuous yesterday, I wasn't on my feet or sitting for too long, so I don't exactly know what triggers it. I guess it's just pregnancy. I am a chronic tummy sleeper, which I know is terrible for my back, but it's the way I've always fallen asleep. Now that I can't sleep that way, it's been a difficult night right after the next. I sleep on my left side a lot, but there are certain pressure points that hurt when I lay that way all night. We have a fairly new firm mattress, which I otherwise love but we also have a memory foam mattress top thinking it would help me sleep better during pregnancy. In addition to that I use a pregnancy pillow, which is as tall as I am and supports both my back and in between my knees. I can barely roll over to the other side though; my groin, back, pelvic and hip muscles are in so much pain, I'm almost in tears when I try. I get temporary relief when I actually get onto the other side, but my hands and fingers ache from carpal tunnel, so at that point I'm usually awake enough to feel the intensity from it all. I cannot bend my fingers, because when I go to grab my blanket or pillow, I cringe from the pain. Not only that, but my hands can get tingly and numb because my entire arm falls asleep. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe, so I prop myself up with all of my pillows but again, I am on my back. Sorry, doc it is the only way I can get a good 4-6 hours of quality sleep. Of course that is if I don't have to pee 7 times throughout the night. But even in that position, my bum is sore from sitting on it all night. If I get on my side that way, by back is out of alignment and it's hellooo major back pain! Matt says I snore now. I've actually woken myself up from how loudly I snore! Pretty funny, actually. Well, if you look on the bright side, at least I don't have that awful rash anymore, eh? I also do not have hyperemesis like some pregnant women do, it's rare to have it throughout pregnancy but it does happen. I used to treat those women with hydration. They actually almost deterred me from ever having children! So, thankfully I do not have that condition. I actually did not vomit once. I know.

I'm experiencing "lightening crotch" now, actually since around the 35th week or so. Apparently it means that baby has dropped into the pelvic canal. It isn't a pleasant feeling. The term used for this phenomenon is pretty self explanatory. It's been quite a few times now that when I walk, I almost can envision her little head coming out of me. I may sound a bit dramatic, but it's the only way I know how to describe it. I've read that I should probably feel less pressure on my ribs, but that isn't quite so. Even as I sit up straight, I am still out of breath so maybe she's just a big baby. :) I'm so glad we are both healthy. I do admit to being nervous about the birthing process, only because it is the unknown, but I am thankful for our doula and the support I have found with other moms that have delivered naturally. Of course, our families are huge supporters as well.

I am so incredibly excited to meet our little one. It is only a matter of time.

Labor Day weekend

Today has been exactly the kind of day I needed. I think I did way too much yesterday and my body was screaming at me. I should probably learn to listen to my body especially since I'm only 4 weeks away from my 40th week of pregnancy! I fell asleep quickly last night propped up with pillows, and found that it lessened the pelvic pain immensely. YAY, this makes me so happy! I woke up the first time at 3:45 am to pee, then again at 6 am. By that time it was already pretty bright out, but I managed to sleep for another 2 hours. I was incredibly hungry so Matt and I made a huge breakfast. He talked about washing the carpet downstairs so I went back to my bed with the intention of reading our hospital booklet & listen to Live 105 since they're playing "old school" music all weekend that makes me nostalgic and perfectly content. Before I knew it, I woke up from a nap an hour later. I found out that during my nap, Mr. Rhoads had done laundry, went grocery shopping at Costco, and washed the carpet twice. Do I have an amazing husband, or what??

Making me brownies because I was craving them...

Cutting wood to add to the deck, adding glow-in-the-dark stars to the nursery's ceiling....
and those are only a few of the things he's been up to. I have zero doubt in my mind that this man will make an excellent father.

We can't wait to meet baby...the reason why I keep calling her baby is because we plan on keeping her name a surprise. We had people at our baby shower vote for one out of 3 names we had picked out and the winner was clearly one of them.
Wow, I cannot believe I'm going to be a mom....a MOM!!!!

35 Weeks...

Currently listening to: Deftones, White Pony

Well! We are at 35 weeks and counting!

I keep telling myself that I need to update this thing, I need to keep a journal of everything I have gone through during my pregnancy but I always find other things to do; like Pinterest, and implementing ideas from there ;). I'm popping in a frozen eggplant parmesan for dinner so I don't have to be on my feet tonight, so now here I am, blogging. I've got my kitchen table in the kitchen now, (we are transforming the dining area into a play area) bought myself some pretty pink flowers for the table for aesthetics, a passion fruit tea from Starbucks, dude, I'm ready to do this!

At this point in my pregnancy I'm slowly growing more and more uncomfortable. Sleep is a thing of the past, or at least a full night's sleep. My body is preparing for more long nights, I get it, but if you know me at all you'd know it isn't what I've looked forward to when it comes to motherhood. I need to suck it up, and realize it is inevitable. I have a couple of books on my Amazon wishlist that hopefully I will read before baby comes, just for tips on getting baby to sleep as long as possible during the night. I know that as a newborn she will need to feed frequently, but as she grows I'm sure it only gets easier. I'm a night person, which Matt isn't so I think he will probably have more of a hard time than I will. We shall see, we only have a few weeks left to go. I feel like we still have so much more to do, but I know that's normal. I've done so much reading and research, it's ridiculous.

We have yet to figure out the logistics of it all, she won't be in her crib for a few weeks or more so the bassinet in our bedroom will come in handy,  but the rocking chair can be moved downstairs for when I want to feed downstairs during the day. I've never really been much of a routine kind of girl and that has to change with baby. They need routine and consistency. While I feel emotionally ready, I've also grown quite attached to my belly. I love knowing how tucked away and safe she is in there, and bringing her into this world will have its challenges. I want to teach her that while there is a lot of ugly and evil in this world, there is also good and that's what is most important.

Even though we were married in a Catholic church, we are not religious. At one point in my life I had said that my personal relationship with God was just that, personal and private. After giving it a lot of thought I came to the conclusion that there really wasn't a relationship at all. I just wanted to think there was a powerful entity up there who looked over me and talked to me in my head but now that's just absurd to me. I love the way Matt was brought up in his family. He was taught that you are accountable for your own actions, that everything is a choice in life. There is a mutual respect among parents and children. He was raised to be a good person, understand the difference between right and wrong, without the use of a frightening after-life threat. I remember growing up feeling confused and ashamed about everything that I ever felt, everything that I thought, but never fully understanding why. Science & good music will be huge in this household, because let's face it, it is all I'm about! :D

I suppose I should get on cleaning the living room and kitchen, since our doula is coming by this evening to work on our birth plan, and discuss what will happen the day I go into labor. I am very excited to work with her. While almost everyone I talk to just has to tell me about how painful childbirth is, I have learned to tune it out with my own positive thoughts. Everyone has their own way of dealing with pain, and not to mention whatever you decide to do with your body and your baby is ultimately up to...well, you. I'm not judging other moms, especially since I haven't gone through labor yet, but I don't think of it as a medical emergency, and I certainly can't fathom agreeing to unnecessary major surgery because I couldn't deal with the pain. I can't imagine it being like how you see it on TV, dramatic and gut-wrenching. I know it will be unbearable, I know it will make me want drugs, I know I'm probably going to want to punch someone in the face and that someone will most likely be Matt, lol. But I think I'm a strong individual, and with my stubbornness, I am pretty positive I'll have the outcome I wish to have. I refuse to be doped up and have a drugged baby in my arms. I want to be able to feel my legs, I want for the both of us to be alert and bond. I want to be able to leave the hospital and go home with our new bundle of joy as soon as possible. If I hear one more person tell me that I do not have control over this, I will scream!! As far as I am concerned, I am more in control without medication than with them, and people really need to keep their negative comments to themselves. Obviously, should a life or death situation arise, I will utilize my other options which I am grateful to have in the first place. From what I have learned and understand, medical interventions only lead to more medical interventions. If I could avoid them altogether, I should be fine. I respect my OB's decisions, as he respects mine. My pregnancy has not had any complications thus far, therefore there is no reason for any medical interventions.

My doula explained that when her clients ask for the pain meds, it is usually during the transition phase, the last and most difficult phase in labor. They are at the point of giving birth and there is not enough time for the meds to "kick in" so it is essentially pointless. I need to keep that in mind. She told Matt that since I feel so strongly about being able to give birth naturally, he should never tell me to just take meds, because it completely undermines what I feel so strongly about. We are both on the same page regarding drugs, but It will be hard for him to see me in pain so he must also remain strong- for me, for us and baby. After the initial doula meeting, subsequent meetings and after taking a Comfort Techniques for Labor class with awesome doulas, midwives and nurses, I feel super empowered! Let's do this! A mantra I need to repeat for myself no matter how painful labor is: my body knows perfectly what it needs to do, it is the mind that does not. 

We have come a long way in medicine, but honestly, we have SO much more to go when it comes to maternity care. Buuut that's a whole other blog entry I will not get into at the moment.

Until next time. :)

23 Weeks...

At 23 weeks, I am just now realizing that there is a tiny human being inside me, doing somersaults, kicking, punching and head butting me. I mean, obviously I've always known, but to feel her is something completely amazing. Rhoads can now also feel her bumps, he put his ear to my belly last night and talked to her. She seemed to have been really excited to hear daddy's voice because she was kicking like crazy! I could actually see his head jolting from the kicks. I am so emotional these days that I was laughing and crying at the same time. Also, I felt her hiccups just the other day. I was told I will be able to feel them eventually, but I had no idea what it was like.  I was feeling tiny jumps inside me every few seconds, then it hit me. She has hiccups! It is so crazy.

It's A...!

Listening to: Dredg, El Cielo

Have we really come to the end of May already?

We had our 20 week anatomy ultrasound three weeks ago, and had to wait to find out baby's gender. We had a small gender reveal party a couple of days after the appointment, to be surprised along with everyone else. It was SO much fun, and I am so glad we did it.

It's a GIRL! Now, I realize there is a 20% chance that baby could be a boy, and I want to be certain so we may go to a clinic nearby for a 3D/4D ultrasound. I pitched the idea to Rhoads so we shall see what he says.
I have to admit, for 5 months I was thinking it was a boy, and I felt a slight pang of disappointment for feeling disappointed, but it really is a strong word for how I actually felt. I envisioned my life with a house full of boys, busy with baseball and hockey games, playing with our dogs, (still working on convincing the hubs to get another) full of energy and happiness. I love boy stuff, I've never been a frilly pink kind of girl. I started to feel like a bad person, like I could never be a good mother to a little girl. I always seemed to get along better with the opposite sex, even as a little girl myself. We are sensitive, complex creatures! But I got past all of that, I just needed to change my mindset completely. I thought about how amazing Rhoads will be with a girl, and yes, even me. I don't have to dress her in frilly pink stuff, there are plenty of yellows, purples and green outfits out there. I will raise her to be confident, strong, and intelligent. She will think for herself, respect and be respected. It will be tough, but someone has to do it!

The shower invitations have been mailed out yesterday. They were handmade, and let me tell you, they were a lot of work, but it beats paying up the ying yang for invitations. I don't care how cute they are, I'm sorry but I can't justify paying over $100 for some paper. Of course this meant that I needed to get on our registries to make final modifications. Here I thought we were all good with most of the basic stuff for baby, but after finishing both Babies R Us and Amazon registries, I counted 295 total items that we registered for. Seriously?! For all I know, we may not need it all but I'm a research junkie so evidently, in my mind, I am making myself think that I need all of those things. It's hard because we won't know what's what until baby arrives. I keep calling her "baby" because we have narrowed it down to 3 names, and when we meet her, I think we will know which one is best for her. Ughhh what if it's a boy, though? The thought keeps creeping into my mind. What if it turns out that they're wrong? I guess it isn't a big deal, we can make exchanges and be done with that. At least the nursery is mint green and gray with white furniture. No pinks or blues here!

My tummy feels like a tight balloon, it is just growing and growing!
I wake up super hungry in the morning. Which means I can't sleep in because I can't stop thinking about eating. And so it begins!
The somersaults and kicking feel pretty amazing. I feel them the most when I eat, and lie down. Of course when I'm active during the day she may be kicking just as much, I just don't feel them. I cannot believe we are down to roughly 3 months now, before we get to meet her. I am still in awe of it all. And it is only the beginning!

No Turning Back Now! ;)

Listening to: Mumford & Sons, Sigh No More

Well, it is official. Everyone that knows us now knows we are expecting. Baby is due September 28th, only 5 days after my 31st birthday. Of course, this Rhoads baby will have their own agenda. He or she will come when they want, if they are anything like their mama! It is exciting getting ready for baby, as well as a bit overwhelming and stressful. But with the help of our families and friends, I know we will be just fine.

I am exactly 15 weeks along as of today. I had fatigue and nausea pretty much every day until last week, the nausea began to slowly subside during the day and I would only feel nauseated at night. I found that eating Fruit Loops before bed helped a lot, and I wasn't starving when I woke up in the morning. That has been my food throughout this pregnancy thus far, Fruit Loops!!! Having something in my stomach all day was helpful. My food aversions are strange, I can't have coffee! Even if I wanted to have some, it just makes me sick. I normally LOVE coffee. Everyone knows I love chocolate. I don't crave it at all. Also, fruit and salads taste like heaven. Gotta love Mother Nature for keeping us healthy!

A few things I'm experiencing but have never heard about pregnancy: I gag when I brush my teeth. I don't know what it is, I'm guessing my gag reflex is extra sensitive. I've also noticed I've become sensitive to bright lights, and loud noise. There is some weird cramping going on in the lower abdomen, from stretching. At times it feels like menstrual cramps but they don't last very long. It definitely feels like I have a lemon inside me, but that was how big baby was last week. According to The Bump, baby is the size of a navel orange now. It is so amazing how fast they grow. I have found that I'm breathless when I go upstairs, or walk fast. Naps have become my best friend. Speaking of which...until next time! ;)