Week #41

Well, I have tried it all, you name it; spicy food, sex, bouncing and figure eights on exercise ball, primrose oil, long walks, daily dates, strong raspberry leaf tea, pressure point massages, rest and naps. Am I missing anything? I didn't think I would want to move things along medically until the 42nd week, but I am at that point now. I feel incredibly heavy, the word "uncomfortable" takes on a whole new meaning. Getting out of bed is rough, my belly literally cannot stretch any more. It is red and itchy. Coconut oil, Burts Bees oil and cocoa butter have not helped one bit. The only thing that has semi helped is Aquaphor. Constipation, hemorrhoids, heartburn, interrupted sleep from having to pee and from hip/pelvic pain and cervical pressure has been just a few of the things I have had to endure. I don't bother picking anything up from the floor, washing dishes because the belly gets in the way, shaving, painting my toe nails, and now I only wear slip on shoes. Putting pants on is a challenge too. Going upstairs, walking anywhere really, is fine as long as I'm as slow as a snail. I realize there are far more worst things in life, but this is my vent. Let's talk about the realities of pregnancy, why not? The baby movements and kicks felt cool, It is amazing to know there is a little life inside me, but now they are borderline painful. My abdomen muscles just feel overstretched.

The nice thing about last week and this week: hubby is home with us. Lily will be on a school break for the next two weeks so having him home is great. It feels strange not cooking or cleaning as much as I normally do, but Matt has been doing it all. Not going to lie, it is nice. :) He normally cleans after dinners anyway, but the fact that I can put my swollen feet up while he cooks since he is home is pretty awesome.

We just came back from Winterfest at Great America, it wasn't as crowded as I expected. The lights were beautiful, and Lily enjoyed herself. She loves it there, it is a special place because it is where Matt takes her on their daddy-daughter dates. I love that she will have those memories with him. She absolutely adores him and it makes my heart so happy. Hopefully tonight's walk has perhaps jumpstarted something. But I have been saying that for several days.

My latest sweets obsession: Trader Joe's Dark chocolate covered peppermint Joe Joe's. Oh.My.Goodness. Peppermint and chocolate together? Yes, please.

I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow morning. To get a membrane sweep or not? The thing of it is, I do not want to be induced, and at 41 weeks I am made to feel that continuing with this pregnancy may not be the best decision to make due to baby's size. Believe me, it is tight quarters in there so I can only agree. I wanted nothing more than to let him come on his own, but if the sweep helps me go into labor I am all for it. However, I understand it may not work and I will only feel uncomfortable or even be in pain after it. I will sleep on it, and go with the first thing I decide.

I hope that the next time I update, baby boy will be here with us.

The Waiting Game

I started my daily intake of Primrose Oil, 6 dates, at least 2 cups of strong raspberry tea, and doing my figure 8's on my exercise ball twice a day. Yes, I know I am only 38 weeks along but it doesn't hurt to help move things along, does it? ;) While none of this has been scientifically proven, I don't think any of it will do any harm. I am very curious to see if I am dilated at all, which I get the feeling that I am, but I am apprehensive about checking myself. Alicia has given us a lot of great reading material about natural induction, and on one of those pdf's there is some info about checking your own cervix. I'm already feeling sore by the time night time comes around, that I wouldn't want to make it worse. And let's get real, even though I am comfortable with my body, who is into feeling their own cervix? Those checks were extremely painful the first time, and I do not intend to get it checked multiple times again. Nooo, thanks. Especially since it does not indicate how fast labor will actually go. I have a follow up appointment with my OB tomorrow, I canceled last week because I didn't feel it was necessary to go. I had just gotten an ultrasound the day before, and honestly, there was nothing else to discuss. Both my doctor and the doctor on call that day aren't too concerned about his "large" size, they don't think he will get past 10lbs. All I can think right now is, please come out baby Rhoads, because we are so ready to meet you.

Appointment went well, I am 2cm dilated, with a soft cervix. No pain during or afterward! I think the hospital staff hated me last time, that's why they were so abrasive. Hah. If only I could motivate myself to get that hospital bag packed. I have had many attempts. Lots of free time. What is going on? I guess it just makes it all too real. I did not experience spontaneous labor the first time, I am excited to experience it with this one. It just isn't coming quickly enough! I am so impatient. At least my pump and parts are all ready to go, and I can't believe that I'm excited about it. I had a hell of a time with that pump, it was attached to me for almost one full year. I can't say I loved it. But I did love that it helped nourish my baby. It had its advantages and disadvantages. I would like for Michael to take to the bottle early on, because I do like that Matt can partake in feeding and bonding. I also like "me" time and need it in order to keep my sanity. But I also would like to successfully breastfeed. I guess I am a girl that wants it all?

Do not get me wrong, I love being a mom. I love everything about it, even the tough times- because it comes with the territory, it is part of the package- but I also don't want to forget who I am. Who I was before I became a stay at home mom. I am also a wife, a great friend, daughter, sister, nurse, and I am someone who likes listening to angry music while I clean or paint my nails. I like silence, while escaping mentally in an amazing book. I enjoy concerts, and coffee dates to stay connected to my friends. Matt enjoys playing hockey some Saturday mornings, going out to the occasional drink with coworkers after work, joining softball leagues. We also need date nights with each other. I love my family life, but I do not want to talk about kid-related things all.the.time. There is nothing wrong with moms that do, it just isn't me. An Astrology believer friend once told me that it is the Libra in me; I need to have balance in order to thrive. Hmm. I guess that makes sense. Speaking of beliefs, we went out for Chinese food with my parents last night. My fortune cookie read: "This coming Friday will be an exciting time for you." How cool would it be if that were true?

I haven't had that crazy perineum pain that I have had nightly, but it has come and gone somewhat throughout the day. One night a couple of weeks ago, it was so bad I was practically in tears. I sent Alicia a text complaining to her and she suggested a warm bath, and perhaps a bit of wine to help me relax. I don't have wine in the house (blasphemy!), but I did take a bath. Why don't I ever take baths? Matt prepped it for me and let me just say...it was heavenly. The pain subsided immediately. I felt so relaxed, I accidentally fell asleep on my heating pad. It automatically turns off after two hours. Problem is, you're not supposed to sleep on it. It was just so warm and comfortable. My skin must have been so soft, and I was so relaxed I didn't realize that there was a tiny burn on my ass from the pad. I can laugh about it now.

I was so excited about the four new episodes of Gilmore Girls. I was so happy to have had some time to finish it up yesterday, that I made some post partum "padsicles" to kill two birds with one stone. What a disappointment. I know the writers are not original, the styles are different but the majority of the time I just kept asking myself what in the world am I watching? The ending wasn't satisfactory at all, it was a cliff hanger and now I'm mad. They can't just leave it like that. There has to be more....right? Mr. Rhoads and I started The Fall on Netflix and oh, it is good. Disturbing, but good. Lily seems to have gotten into a night time routine again, which is nice. I feel that I have been sleeping soundly lately, which is a very good thing right before baby comes. I hope he is a much better sleeper than Lily was. Wow, HE! I still can't believe I am having a boy. I am so excited. :)