I started my daily intake of Primrose Oil, 6 dates, at least 2 cups of strong raspberry tea, and doing my figure 8's on my exercise ball twice a day. Yes, I know I am only 38 weeks along but it doesn't hurt to help move things along, does it? ;) While none of this has been scientifically proven, I don't think any of it will do any harm. I am very curious to see if I am dilated at all, which I get the feeling that I am, but I am apprehensive about checking myself. Alicia has given us a lot of great reading material about natural induction, and on one of those pdf's there is some info about checking your own cervix. I'm already feeling sore by the time night time comes around, that I wouldn't want to make it worse. And let's get real, even though I am comfortable with my body, who is into feeling their own cervix? Those checks were extremely painful the first time, and I do not intend to get it checked multiple times again. Nooo, thanks. Especially since it does not indicate how fast labor will actually go. I have a follow up appointment with my OB tomorrow, I canceled last week because I didn't feel it was necessary to go. I had just gotten an ultrasound the day before, and honestly, there was nothing else to discuss. Both my doctor and the doctor on call that day aren't too concerned about his "large" size, they don't think he will get past 10lbs. All I can think right now is, please come out baby Rhoads, because we are so ready to meet you.
Appointment went well, I am 2cm dilated, with a soft cervix. No pain during or afterward! I think the hospital staff hated me last time, that's why they were so abrasive. Hah. If only I could motivate myself to get that hospital bag packed. I have had many attempts. Lots of free time. What is going on? I guess it just makes it all too real. I did not experience spontaneous labor the first time, I am excited to experience it with this one. It just isn't coming quickly enough! I am so impatient. At least my pump and parts are all ready to go, and I can't believe that I'm excited about it. I had a hell of a time with that pump, it was attached to me for almost one full year. I can't say I loved it. But I did love that it helped nourish my baby. It had its advantages and disadvantages. I would like for Michael to take to the bottle early on, because I do like that Matt can partake in feeding and bonding. I also like "me" time and need it in order to keep my sanity. But I also would like to successfully breastfeed. I guess I am a girl that wants it all?
Do not get me wrong, I love being a mom. I love everything about it, even the tough times- because it comes with the territory, it is part of the package- but I also don't want to forget who I am. Who I was before I became a stay at home mom. I am also a wife, a great friend, daughter, sister, nurse, and I am someone who likes listening to angry music while I clean or paint my nails. I like silence, while escaping mentally in an amazing book. I enjoy concerts, and coffee dates to stay connected to my friends. Matt enjoys playing hockey some Saturday mornings, going out to the occasional drink with coworkers after work, joining softball leagues. We also need date nights with each other. I love my family life, but I do not want to talk about kid-related things all.the.time. There is nothing wrong with moms that do, it just isn't me. An Astrology believer friend once told me that it is the Libra in me; I need to have balance in order to thrive. Hmm. I guess that makes sense. Speaking of beliefs, we went out for Chinese food with my parents last night. My fortune cookie read: "This coming Friday will be an exciting time for you." How cool would it be if that were true?
I haven't had that crazy perineum pain that I have had nightly, but it has come and gone somewhat throughout the day. One night a couple of weeks ago, it was so bad I was practically in tears. I sent Alicia a text complaining to her and she suggested a warm bath, and perhaps a bit of wine to help me relax. I don't have wine in the house (blasphemy!), but I did take a bath. Why don't I ever take baths? Matt prepped it for me and let me just say...it was heavenly. The pain subsided immediately. I felt so relaxed, I accidentally fell asleep on my heating pad. It automatically turns off after two hours. Problem is, you're not supposed to sleep on it. It was just so warm and comfortable. My skin must have been so soft, and I was so relaxed I didn't realize that there was a tiny burn on my ass from the pad. I can laugh about it now.
I was so excited about the four new episodes of Gilmore Girls. I was so happy to have had some time to finish it up yesterday, that I made some post partum "padsicles" to kill two birds with one stone. What a disappointment. I know the writers are not original, the styles are different but the majority of the time I just kept asking myself what in the world am I watching? The ending wasn't satisfactory at all, it was a cliff hanger and now I'm mad. They can't just leave it like that. There has to be more....right? Mr. Rhoads and I started The Fall on Netflix and oh, it is good. Disturbing, but good. Lily seems to have gotten into a night time routine again, which is nice. I feel that I have been sleeping soundly lately, which is a very good thing right before baby comes. I hope he is a much better sleeper than Lily was. Wow, HE! I still can't believe I am having a boy. I am so excited. :)
