Listening to...the sound of the fan going, because it is crazy HOT today!!!
This entry is not by any means to complain about the changes I'm going through; though it may seem that way. It's just a vent. I'm allowed, right? I never post anything on those baby website message boards, because I've read some threads where people can be pretty mean. I don't understand how us women can be so petty with one another, especially while hiding behind a computer. Does it make them feel better about themselves? What's the point? I feel that as women, we should empower each other, respect our differences, learn from and support one another. I stay far far away from the useless drama. I have far more important things to do, things to worry about. It seems like some of these girls are only on the boards to ridicule others. I say girls because that's exactly what they are. Ok, rant over. HAHA hormonal much?
I know very well how lucky I am that I was able to conceive when we wanted to, not everyone has that opportunity. I am sure those people would do anything to be in my shoes. Please believe me when I say that I am happy, very happy that we are growing our family and I am going to be a mom! What a blessing! However, it does not mean that it doesn't come with its challenges, as I'm sure many other first time moms can relate.
I've realized that from here on out I will have my good days, when I feel just fine enough to cook a couple of meals to freeze for after baby is born & to do other household chores, then I have my days when I feel like my body has been hit by a moving train- a perfect example of that was this morning. I do not recall doing anything remotely strenuous yesterday, I wasn't on my feet or sitting for too long, so I don't exactly know what triggers it. I guess it's just pregnancy. I am a chronic tummy sleeper, which I know is terrible for my back, but it's the way I've always fallen asleep. Now that I can't sleep that way, it's been a difficult night right after the next. I sleep on my left side a lot, but there are certain pressure points that hurt when I lay that way all night. We have a fairly new firm mattress, which I otherwise love but we also have a memory foam mattress top thinking it would help me sleep better during pregnancy. In addition to that I use a pregnancy pillow, which is as tall as I am and supports both my back and in between my knees. I can barely roll over to the other side though; my groin, back, pelvic and hip muscles are in so much pain, I'm almost in tears when I try. I get temporary relief when I actually get onto the other side, but my hands and fingers ache from carpal tunnel, so at that point I'm usually awake enough to feel the intensity from it all. I cannot bend my fingers, because when I go to grab my blanket or pillow, I cringe from the pain. Not only that, but my hands can get tingly and numb because my entire arm falls asleep. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe, so I prop myself up with all of my pillows but again, I am on my back. Sorry, doc it is the only way I can get a good 4-6 hours of quality sleep. Of course that is if I don't have to pee 7 times throughout the night. But even in that position, my bum is sore from sitting on it all night. If I get on my side that way, by back is out of alignment and it's hellooo major back pain! Matt says I snore now. I've actually woken myself up from how loudly I snore! Pretty funny, actually. Well, if you look on the bright side, at least I don't have that awful rash anymore, eh? I also do not have hyperemesis like some pregnant women do, it's rare to have it throughout pregnancy but it does happen. I used to treat those women with hydration. They actually almost deterred me from ever having children! So, thankfully I do not have that condition. I actually did not vomit once. I know.
I'm experiencing "lightening crotch" now, actually since around the 35th week or so. Apparently it means that baby has dropped into the pelvic canal. It isn't a pleasant feeling. The term used for this phenomenon is pretty self explanatory. It's been quite a few times now that when I walk, I almost can envision her little head coming out of me. I may sound a bit dramatic, but it's the only way I know how to describe it. I've read that I should probably feel less pressure on my ribs, but that isn't quite so. Even as I sit up straight, I am still out of breath so maybe she's just a big baby. :) I'm so glad we are both healthy. I do admit to being nervous about the birthing process, only because it is the unknown, but I am thankful for our doula and the support I have found with other moms that have delivered naturally. Of course, our families are huge supporters as well.
I am so incredibly excited to meet our little one. It is only a matter of time.
